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Pissing in the Wind

by Dog Eared

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1.
All I think about is what I haven’t done All I think is where to run If I manage something more than closing my eyes I’m completely satisfied If all my friends and family think they’re better than me I’m such a lazy fucker I’d just have to agree Because every time I try to make some sense of my life I realise that there’s nothing in sight It’s like pissing in the wind Walking in a circle trying to find my way home Wondering why I’m all alone Picking up the pieces and the crumbs on the floor Wondering why I’m wanting more When I try to get up I fall flat on my face Carpet up my nostrils that I should’ve replaced Now every time I tell myself that things will be fine I find that everything is out of line It’s like pissing in the wind Eating dry pasta as an aperitif Putting cracks in all my teeth Main meals aren’t much better, all that I can afford is chewing gum and pasta sauce Even with a job, a grade or uni degree My lack of self-belief would crush me terminally So I revert to doing my best to keep my eyes closed And wait for them to slowly decompose Because I’m pissing in the wind
2.
I’m waiting on a call that’ll never come Smiling between these bloodied gums which I’ve ripped, kissing bricks as I slam into the wall I’ve come to love that wrenching sound Pathetic, body, caught, rebound When you see what might be waiting on the other side If I could, don’t you know that I would split and share a thousand million little pieces But we won’t, so make sure that you don’t split and shatter into a thousand million little pieces I’m waiting on a train that’s slow to show Glaikit, staring out of windows Are you lost in your thoughts? Are you fucking checked out? Stood barefoot on tiled floors Silhouetted in the door Feel the breeze from foreign seas that don’t exist any more

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released February 22, 2020

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Dog Eared Dundee, UK

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