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I Feel Terrible

from It's Probably Benign by Dog Eared

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lyrics

I feel terrible through no fault of my own
Though that’s not strictly true; it’s actually 100% my fault
Just like usual. Just like it always is.
Be it lack of sleep or drink, or self-control.

I feel miserable, though miserable’s too strong a word for my circumstance
I’m just a boy who’s a little bit sad sometimes
Like everyone who’s ever lived and had to work 5 days
Who’s trained themselves to smother down anxiety and rage

But that’s besides the point for now
I’m doing my best to put the smothered voices out for ears of those I barely know
And maybe telling those who know me as I am would be a step towards emotional growth
But that sounds like a lot of work

I feel calm today; things are as they should be
But here come mortgage debts and job insecurity and eviction notices
And sleepless nights and comfort eating and a back that can’t keep up
are rusty chains and buckled wheels and broken glass enough
To keep me pinned down to the floor?
No tapping out, just pure acceptance of the state my mind keeps forcing itself in
Two little voices in my head. One is my own. The other talks on my behalf
So I don’t talk much anymore.

credits

from It's Probably Benign, released February 2, 2024

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