Brace yourself, you have been warned, for this the world’s most boring song
Penned by the world’s most boring man, whining just because he can
For him the boredom’s standardised, a constant in his boring life
The man who lives in apathy and, no surprise, the man is me
Ambition and motivation are strictly lacking in my list of traits
My own frustration with my stagnation is not done, so I’ll sit in bed and wait
Being just below average in every way doesn’t really bother me I have to say
The food I cook apparently tastes bland, just enough flavour to prove it’s not been canned
Not enough stubble to grow a beard but I leave it too long and my face looks weird
Can’t even bother to shave myself, another task for the ‘failure shelf’
And I can’t tell if I’m unhappy or if I secretly wish that were the case
Because that guy who’s so unhappy, would at least have an excuse for stuffing his face
From the day I’m married I wouldn’t complain if, until the day that I’m buried, my life was the same
The same routine of breathing in and then out and occasionally planting little seeds of doubt in my mind regarding every little choice that I make.
Scared of all the petty and inconsequential mistakes like embarking on a new career, about to begin, but after only seven weeks I might be packing it in…
…and I know that I’m a disaster, but not the cool kind with tattoos and scars;
I’m more like a middle-class prick who doesn’t know he’s born and doesn’t know how many days these dirty boxers have been worn
My boring life is the most boring by far
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