I don’t care if you hate me
I hate myself to a more hostile degree when the heat stops, and the rain drops on the tarmac
The smell of petrichor never gets old
Brings back the memories of my blood running cold and the long days and the long nights in the pitch black
That week alone wasn’t healthy, you see
Especially with the lack of vitamin D
Now, instead of petrichor, there’s petrol in my airways and I’m gagging for any form of relief
But my body clings to the filth like the soot on the sandstone tenements in the east end
And thanks to the non-stop and crippling indifference, I greet sadness and regret as an old friend would
I guess I accept that’s my life now
But I don’t accept that it can’t be changed
It’s always cold and dark up here except for those twelve days a year when the sun shines on the treelines and the pavement veneer
If I focus on those twelve days, not the cold and the dark and the rain, then I might find that I’m inclined to stick around to see those twelve days of sun next year.
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